((Sigh))

The Puppy




The Video



The Dessert My Mom Gave Me After the Puppy Left

I Broke

I had a true breakdown last night.
I have been unable to handle and explain to K how overwhelmed I have been lately.

In fact, I think I do a very good job at hiding that fact on any given day in fear that I will hear resentment or frustration from K. That leads to me feeling inadequate, believing I should be able to "handle" whatever it is like a normal person.

Except, I am normal. I have my breaking points like every other person. In fact, I think I handle more then one person should most times, and that is my fault. I don't let anyone know that I cannot do it all. That's unfair to me and to them.

Yesterday I sat at home overwhelmed with my life.

I ticked off all of the things I am "working" on in my marriage, with my kids, at work…and frankly before we got the puppy I felt OK with it all. Most days were good days for me. Until the puppy.

I had hinted at this being a bad idea. Then I came out and said it one night. K didn't hear me. It was always "up to me" if we got it or not. But it seemed like I was the only one who didn't want him. I imagined, correctly, what my brain would look after getting a puppy.
Imagine a waiter who kept bringing plate after plate of food to you, never stopping, piling them on top of each other until they started to fall on the floor.

There was food all over the place yesterday.

At one point K asked if we needed to talk. I was silent. I had absolutely no clue how to start. I was speechless. He somehow knew better then to accept my speechlessness. Then I broke down.

This puppy is perfect…for someone else. I am not giving him away because he messes on the floor or because he whines a lot, or because he nips my kids. I do not have the mental capacity it takes to train him correctly AND deal with a house with 2 little kids. He is cute and lovable and I would sleep better knowing someone else was taking care of him.

Once that happens I can start the job of "cleaning up the food all over the floor, and broken plates." Once the table is clean I will feel better.

I need to feel better.

Finally, some answers

Poor Logan has been battling ear infections, ear tubes, plugged ear tubes, second set of tubes, and now months and months of constant congestion and drippy, yucky nose issues.

About 8 months ago I broke down and brought him to an Allergist. Since then we have been trying to see what we can do for him. Unfortunately nothing has helped.
He, at the time, did not show he had allergies to any of the 24 most likely environmental or food triggers.

The medicines and nasal sprays have been hopeless, although he LOVES to eat his "chewies" every day. Sick right?!

Last time we went we were told to have blood-work done and have an x-ray of his head to rule out sinus infections. We went back today.

X-ray was clean.
Blood-work was not.

It's normal for a two-year-old to have an immature immune system. Problem for Logan is that there are about 14 likely bacteria that cause his symptoms, and he only has immunity to 4. Therefore it seems that at daycare the children keep passing around bacteria and Logan doesn't have the right antibodies to fight them off. So he has been chronically sick.

Not SICK sick, just low-grade bacterial infections on and off and on again.

So she wanted to treat his current yucky nose with antibiotics. Then she wanted to give him a pneumovax booster. In about 4–5 weeks it should start working, allowing him to fight off the bacteria that have been keeping him yucky for so long.

My doctor has had great success for the candidates (children) old enough and with the right immunity issues.

Is that a light I see at the end of the tunnel of "Sick Kid Land"?

Our New Addition

As usual, nothing goes to plan!

We are now puppy owners. Dexter, the puppy, will be 6-weeks-old tomorrow.
ugh
His owner has had to work crazy hours. Her daughter usually watches the pups when the Owner has to work, but the daughter got a new job. So, we were asked to take the pup early because no one would be home to watch the little guys.

So our adventure started yesterday with a flurry of activity.

We got the pen and crate from my parents and set it up.

I called the Vet to see what I needed to know about a young guy like Dex. We needed to buy him Puppy Replacement Milk since he wasn't completely weaned from his Mom.

His first afternoon home went very well. He loved our family and all the attention he got. The kid's were great with him, making sure not to hurt him or scare him.
SweetP got a longer talk about the rules of a puppy and she LOVES knowing what is appropriate and what is not.

The puppy fell asleep at 8 p.m, in his crate (!!!!!) and woke up at midnight. We took him outside but he didn't pee, so back into the crate he went.
He woke up again at 3:30 and this time he did pee. After that he was awake for a while, yipping, but we got him back to sleep within 15 minutes because he brought him to bed.

I know, bad parents. But his owners had him in bed with them for a few weeks now. So sleeping in the crate was not the norm and he took to that fairly well.

He woke for the day at 6:30. We didn't read his signals right and he poo'd on the floor. He played with the kids until I brought them to school. Ever since, we have been eating, peeing, playing, napping—rinse and repeat.

What is really nice is that I moved my desk here at home. I have a lofted room which looks out over the family room. Well, actually the room has a door but the area right outside the door looks over the family room. This is where my desk is now.
Since the area is somewhat small, and the puppy doesn't do stairs, I can have him up here with me without him being in his crate—for now.

Knock on wood, we are settling into a nice routine.

Now, if I could only get rid of this 3-day-old headache. To be fair, I had it before the puppy news came in!

Pictures to come.

Get the Funk Out!

I have been in a funk these last two days.

Partly I think I have lived inside my brain too much. "Never go in there alone."
Partly, I've been eating crappy food.
Partly, I have been watching this show that really got under my skin yesterday and made me wonder.

So, for fun I googled, "Get Out of a Funk" and got this.
http://healing.about.com/cs/selfactualization/a/funk.htm

No rocket science here, but it actually worked.
So I'm just sayin…

Photos

Butterfly Garden's





I was kneeling on the floor, bending over to look through SweetP's bookbag when the cat decided my back would be a good place to sit RIGHT THEN!


One happy kid, one grumpy kid for Mommy's birthday party.




The coldest Easter Egg hunt on record.


Sweet P and friend hunting for eggs. All the eggs were found in 3 minutes 28 seconds.


Playing at the Children's Museum of Play.

This speak's for itself.

Today I am…

…thirty something.

OK OK, 34. Somehow that seems much older then 33. I'd like to write something
meaningful and inspiring, but honestly I don't have the time.

I have to shower.
I have a Parent-Teacher conference at 9:30.
I promised my elderly neighbor to walk her dog at 10.
I have a meeting at 11.
I have my shrink at Noon.

Somewhere in there I should work a little. So here is a little photo history and a quiz. Good luck!
Can you identify Moxie-Mom in the class photo? (What was my mother thinking?!?)



This is my family, as strange as we look. Those were my first pair of glasses at age 8. Strawberry Shortcake. You never forget your first.



The hair in this photo—do you see it attacking me?


This is my favorite picture of my sister and me.


This is me attempting to look grown-up. Shouldn't you be grown-up by the time you have two kids?!?